


Prayer and Promise

by Heartbreakmosh (PompousPickle)



Series: If Not For Him, I Wouldn't Be As Strong [3]
Category: Pro Wrestling NOAH, みちのくプロレス | Michinoku Pro Wrestling
Genre: Found Family Dynamics, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Prayer, References to Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29045031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PompousPickle/pseuds/Heartbreakmosh
Summary: Across 10 years, two men whisper the same prayer.
Relationships: Fujita "Jr." Hayato/Kenoh
Series: If Not For Him, I Wouldn't Be As Strong [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206836
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	1. 2011

**Author's Note:**

> This piece references a recent article about Fujita Hayato's current struggle with cancer, found here: https://www.bbm-japan.com/article/detail/13988

Temple visits had become a compulsion. They were simply ingrained in Michinoku Pro. Many companies went to shrines or temples before major tournaments and shows to pray for good fortune. But for MichiPro, it was in their blood. There was no use fighting the urge. Even years removed from Jinsei’s teachings, Hayato found himself tagging along anyway. Even when it was six in the morning and shrouded in the mountain mist, Hayato was still there, barely awake and watching everyone slowly file in as the sun rose around them. 

Kowloon hung back at the entrance, always waiting for everyone else to finish before they prayed themselves. The Great Sasuke was champion, so he was first to enter, and first to exit the gates. He ignored Kowloon with great care, but Hayato watched him carefully, hungrily. Rui Hiugagi leaned on the stone walls around the temple next to him, watching the champion just as closely. 

However, Rui caught Sasuke’s eye, and Hayato felt a pang of jealousy. He had betrayed Seikigun barely a month ago, and the champion didn’t seem to forget, keeping his eye on the other man as he left. Hayato held his breath, wondering exactly what Rui was planning on praying for. 

More came and went, slowly breaking the tension. Shu and Kei gossiped loudly just by the gates, taking over the rumors of the particular temple they were at. It was different at every temple they visited, but they always had a story cooked up, to see who would bite. Sometimes it was simply cursed. Sometimes it was more complicated. 

Today it was a rumor that if you offered enough before the holy object, you could see the name of your soulmate hovering above the main hall. Hayato scoffed, gently kicking Shu in the shin, but he knew it wouldn’t stop the two. There was no use trying anymore. 

“The hell are they so dressed up for?” Takeshi scoffed, interrupting their early morning reverie with a nod towards the last group of Seikigun. Jinsei, Kenbai and Kenoh all surely heard them, but none of the three spared them a single glance. 

Jinsei walked past first, followed with Kenoh and Kenbai on his heels. The smaller man was tugging at his mask, still keeping so firmly to traditions even this early. Jinsei and Kenoh too, were already dressed and as serious as ever, doing every little thing to the letter. Kenoh’s hair was tied back into a low ponytail, wearing a collared shirt tucked neatly into his pants, the top two buttons undone. Hayato’s eyes followed him, almost daring the other man to look back. He didn’t, but Hayato caught the smirk on his lips, the telltale sign that the other man knew he was being watched, the telltale sign that he knew he looked good. 

“Hmm. Maybe they just have no other reasons to dress up,” Rui mused, watching the three take turns at the central burner, each one lighting incense and fanning it onto themselves, diligently performing their rites. “Because like hell does Kenoh have a girlfriend.” They all laughed at his ribbing. Rui was Kenoh’s former tag team partner, after all. He knew him best. He knew how to make fun of him best. 

Hayato barely remembered to crack a smile, just to keep up appearances. 

He wondered what Kenoh was planning on praying for. The first show of the year was tomorrow, and the man had certainly already done his prayers for the new year, now two weeks into January. He wondered if he would pray for luck in the battle royal for number 1 contendership, though that hardly seemed like something Kenoh would rely on. 

When he saw Kenoh reach into his pocket to pull out his offering, Hayato just slightly leaned forward, to see if he had put in a little extra. Just to see if Kenoh had heeded to the twins’ excited gossiping. He told himself he wasn’t disappointed when Kenoh only threw in a single coin. 

When the three were done, Kowloon finally filed in through gates and towards the main temple hall. Shu and Kei ran ahead, but even they managed to keep quiet and respectful despite their chaotic energy. Nohashi was next, lighting incense and looking quickly to see if Jinsei was still lingering around, to see if he noticed that he was copying his mannerisms perfectly. Hayato snorted. Taro was the first to turn his back on the roster, but still so reverent in copying his master. 

Still, he followed Taro’s gaze, looking around the temple’s grounds himself. It was small, but well-maintained, well loved. It wasn’t far from the venue of the first show of the tour, but still isolated from the rest of the world. Quiet and peaceful, removed from it all. 

He spotted Kenoh by the garden area, watching him. Their eyes met and Kenoh nodded his head, beckoning Hayato to follow. Nohashi was still praying, with Rui, Rasse and Takeshi still to go. He weighed his options, considering pushing ahead of the other three just to make himself look busy. But when Kenoh raised his eyebrows, and subconsciously licked his lips, Hayato found his feet bringing him closer to the garden. 

Like the temple visits, he supposed this too had become a compulsion. 

“What’d you pray for? Good luck in the battle royal?” Hayato teased as the two walked through, past several statues and towards the edge of the temple cemetery. It was almost dreamlike, the two a stark contrast to each other in the mountain mist; Kenoh dressed for business and Hayato just barely awake in sweats and a beanie. They walked side by side, as if totally separate from the judgement of the world around them. 

Kenoh only shrugged, taking the man off guard. “I prayed for what I wanted most.” he said honestly, as honest as ever. He stared Hayato down, taking him apart with the kind of intensity he usually saved for moments like these, the kind of intensity he saved when it was just the two of them. 

“Doesn’t seem like you, that’s all.” Hayato turned around, shoving his hands into his sweats pockets, feeling for the coins he stuck in there for the offering. Kenoh followed, snorting out a small laugh. Hayato just sighed with a smug smirk. “Didn’t think you’d be the kind of bastard to rely on luck.” 

“I’m not, you idiot.” There was barely any ire in his voice. “There’s no shame in asking for a little help though.” He said it so casually, walking back through and towards the main temple hall, where Hayato could see Rasse going through his own rites. 

“Oy,” Kenoh started, pausing in his steps, turning to face Hayato directly. Hayato stared him down, brows furrowed as he tried to dissect the man in front of him with the same careful interest that Kenoh always showed him. “I’m taking that belt, you know. And then after...I want it t-” 

The thought was interrupted as Kenoh’s eyes shifted focus. He glanced behind Hayato, and the other man turned around. Kenbai had found them, sparing a cold distrustful gaze at Hayato before approaching his friend. “Kenoh. Are you ready?” His voice was soft, but there was a power behind it, betraying a protective side that put Hayato on guard. Kenoh merely nodded. 

He turned to Hayato one last time. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he finally said, with a lilt to his tone, heavy with meaning. If Kenbai caught it, he didn’t say anything. Hayato did, however, snorting as he waved them both off dismissively. He rolled back his shoulders, watching the two of them walk towards the gates, wordlessly. 

But Hayato didn’t miss the way Kenoh paused, head turned and bangs falling in his face, glancing back to see if Hayato would respond to his silent request to meet him after the show. The sun was rising behind him, and his whole body seemed to glow with hope and expectation. Hayato felt his heart rise to his throat for one single sickening moment, and he looked away immediately, turning around completely to face the temple hall. 

Takeshi was finishing, and the faction was watching Hayato expectedly. Nohashi and Rui both had their eyebrows raised in curiosity, and the twins were grinning at him wolfishly. He picked up the pace, ignoring any of their unspoken questions as he made his way to the front of the hall. “That guy pisses me off” he grumbled, in way of an answer, chucking in his offering. The rest of Kowloon backed away, satisfied with that. 

Hayato closed his eyes, wishing for a fleeting second that it was just him and Kenoh again, far away from everything else around him. It was easy to pray before matches. But with Kenoh still on his mind, he found himself scrambling to focus on a single prayer. 

He didn’t want to pray for luck, or for championships, or for fortune. The others could do that; he was sure they did. He could pray for health, as a standby. But that’s what he always did, just before entering the ring. He could pray for the health of those around him, those he cared about. It seemed safe, but perhaps a little inane, simply taking the easiest option. 

He thought of Kenoh. He thought of his words. _I prayed for what I wanted most_. 

He wanted to win the battle royal. He wanted to become the number one contender. He wanted to rip the belt from the Great Sasuke’s hands and make him regret looking past Fujita Hayato on that cold January morning. But more than anything…

_I want to fight him again._

The thought escaped him, completely unbidden. His palms were pressed together so hard they were practically pushing against each other. Another compulsion. He couldn’t stop his silent prayer even if he tried, even if he wanted to. _I want it to be just the two of us in the ring again. That’s all._

When he opened his eyes again, the sun had finally risen completely. He bowed once to the sacred statue at the front of the hall and turned to face Kowloon, now standing midway between the hall and the gate. 

Then when Hayato looked out further, towards the gate, he could still see Kenoh, talking with his friend and his mentor just beyond the reaches of the temple. And distantly, Hayato wondered if Kenoh wanted to tell him the same thing, before getting pulled away. He wondered if he wanted to see him standing across the ring from him soon. 

He wondered if Kenoh was waiting for him. 


	2. 2021

Of course, everyone in NOAH went to a shrine to pray before the Budokan show. After eleven years removed from the venue, it would have been improper not to pray for a healthy and successful show. Kenoh had attended, but he still wanted to go to a temple. It felt better, more familiar. It suited him more. It suited Kongoh more too. So he asked everyone a few days before the show. 

He tried not to show his surprise and delight when they all said yes. 

“This takes me back,” Haoh sighed as they reached the gates, in the scattered light of the early February morning. “We should go mountain climbing again sometime.” When he grinned, his eyes glistened a little, bright and round, just like they looked under his Kenbai mask. Kenoh moved his hand to cover his own sheepish smile. 

“I’m down,” Soya shrugged, walking past them a little, before turning to look at the rest of the group, daring them to catch up to him in thinly veiled eagerness. “Not this early though. Nioh is barely alive here.” 

“Shaddup. I’m  _ fine _ ,” Nioh grumbled, tying his hair up, dragging his feet up the hill towards the main temple hall. Tadasuke rushed forward, swinging Nioh’s arm over his shoulder to provide extra support. He was wearing his sunglasses, despite the fact that the sun had barely begun to rise, and Kenoh snorted. 

“You’re both hungover,” Kenoh pointed out to the two juniors. It wasn’t a question. They both wore it on their faces as plain as day. Nioh only grunted, but Tadasuke looked back at their leader and grinned, sloppy and lopsided. 

Kitamiya laughed deeply from behind, and Kenoh heard a light huff of laughter that could only be Nakajima. He turned to look at the two of them, both bundled up to combat the cold of February. Nakajima tightened his scarf around himself as they walked, impatient. And even Kitamiya pulled his jacket a little tighter. The temple was a significant size after all, and the walk to the main temple hall was a long one, passing halls and gardens as they went. 

Haoh was right; it really did take Kenoh back. To mountain mornings and long lost prayers. To unspoken promises and stolen moments, walking through temple gardens in a dreamlike trance, words carefully balanced on his tongue, hanging in the air between two men. 

It was impossible not to think about Hayato. 

He wondered what the Hayato of ten years ago prayed for. He wondered if it wasn’t enough, or if simply no one could anticipate the cruelty of fate. He thought about Hayato now, posing for a picture in the sunlight, a smile touched with a hint of sadness, crutches leaning just on the edge of the frame. 

Ten years ago they were at the foot of a mountain temple, walking through a mist-covered garden and thinking about the future, brimming with energy and hope. Today, the man was too weak to even climb up temple steps alone. Kenoh slammed his eyes shut, but it was etched into his mind like a wood-burning, the words of the article running through his head like a worn out prayer. 

“Hey. Kenoh?” Kitamiya’s voice was gentle, quieted down to suit the holy ground, still washed over in morning dew. He placed a hand on Kenoh’s shoulder, waking him from the spiral of his thoughts. “You’re up.” 

Finally, Kenoh opened his eyes and all of Kongoh were waiting for him, giving him space at the main temple hall. He narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brow, not liking the way they all looked at him as he approached. Even Nakajima seemed to be watching him carefully, face completely relaxed from its usual grin. Careful. Concerned. 

He pointedly ignored it as he grabbed for the incense. He breathed it in, letting it wash over him, going back to Jinsei instead. Going back to years before any of it mattered. Going back to when all his prayers were young and naive, focused on his dreams and ambitions, on finding courage and strength inside of himself. His prayers had changed so much since, his selfish wants suddenly too heavy for him to hold alone. 

He tossed in his coins and gently pressed his palms together, beginning his usual routine. 

He prayed for Kongoh, first and foremost. For their continued strengthening bonds and physical health to carry them through the Budokan and beyond. He prayed for each and every one of them to continue to find their place in Pro-Wrestling NOAH. He prayed for Kaito, and Yoshiki, to pave their futures and do so with their smiles still firmly in place. He prayed for Kotoge, to someday find a sky he was finally welcome in. 

Finally, he found his way back to Hayato, thoughts falling towards him in an inevitable spiral. Kenoh ran through every word of the article, shifting through it in his mind to find something to pray for. But no matter how many times he thought about it, all his prayers felt like they were too late. All his teachings from Jinsei came up short. In all of his constant thinking and planning and optimistic yearning, Kenoh had nothing to say for the man spending once a week in a wheelchair, wondering if it was even worth keeping up the fight. 

He heard a coin drop into the offering bin, and a firm body press against his, smaller than his own. He opened a single eye, knowing full well that Jinsei would have beat him for it, and he glanced over at Haoh. A knowing smile formed on the man’s lips, just before closing his eyes and pressing his own hands together. 

“You’re praying for Fujita-san, aren’t you? Let me help.” Haoh’s words were simple, but his tone was full of emotion. He never disliked Hayato; Kenoh knew that from the beginning. But he never trusted him with his friend’s heart. Still, he always kept others away from their abandoned hallways and temple gardens. He always made excuses for Kenoh when he excused himself early from after-parties, when he escaped to hotels with Hayato alone. In an odd way, Haoh and Hayato were already friends. It only made sense to let him pray. 

Kenoh let out a shuddering breath and then finally nodded. There was no shame in asking for a little help. 

Another coin dropped a moment later, and Kenoh could practically feel the fibers of Nakajima’s scarf brushing against Kenoh’s arm. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something? He debuted against me, all the way back in 2004.” The other man was smiling, but his eyes were far away. “He’s my rival too, you know. I’m not going to let you take all the credit here.” 

Katsuhiko let his eyes close too, his smile relaxing once again and he too looked like he was drifting back ten years into the past. Kenoh wondered if a piece of him longed for it. 

More coins dropped, and Kenoh let his eyes close again as all four of the others joined in. Perhaps it wasn’t proper, but Kongoh wasn’t about doing things the proper way. They never were. They were about finding the  _ right  _ way to do things. And the truth of the matter was that sometimes prayer was just too heavy to handle alone. 

Kenoh prayed that Fujita “Jr.” Hayato knew that he wasn’t alone. 

Tadasuke was the first to speak up. “Fujita Hayato is going to return in 2021. He isn’t going to retire.” Kenoh heard all of the others shuffle gently from the opening of the main temple hall, satisfied. He opened his eyes and turned to the other man, shooting him a confused and irritable looked, but Tadasuke only laughed. He held up his hands, easing the other man down. “What? I’m using the power of words to speak it to reality. We  _ do  _ listen when you talk, you know.” 

Kenoh hummed for a moment. He thought about the article, about Hayato telling everyone that he would retire if he wasn’t strong enough by 2021. About Hayato telling everyone that he wanted to give people the courage and strength to fight. He wondered if that was his own power of words. He wondered if that was Hayato’s prayer. 

Soya laughed, as though his heart had been lightened somehow. And then Nioh, this time wrapping his arm around Tadasuke’s shoulder on his own volition. Kitamiya closed in on them, and took the sunglasses now hanging from Tadasuke’s shirt and snatched them, placing them on his own face with a smug smile. Tadasuke huffed in defiance, trying to swipe them back. Nakajima followed them, falling next to Manabu with a small smile, far different from his usual wolfish grin. 

Haoh was the last to leave Kenoh’s side, resting his hand on his friend’s shoulder and nodding. He dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out another coin, shoving it into Kenoh’s hand. He tilted his head back towards the saisen box before heading to join the rest of the group, standing just outside the building’s intricate awning. 

“Thank you. Truly,” was all Kenoh could say, his voice low. Too low for any of them to hear him, but he was certain they all knew. 

Now with the power of six men, Kenoh headed back to the main building and placed in his coin, finally finding the strength for one last selfish prayer. One prayer just for him, and for the person he was trying to reach. 

_ I want to fight him again. _

He didn’t care when. He didn’t care how. He wanted to stand across from him, one last time. Just the two of them. He wanted to be champion as he did so. He wanted Fujita to be strong, to stare at him with the same laser focus he had in 2011, where nothing else mattered in the world but the two of them, standing at the foot of a mountain they had yet to climb. 

_ I want it to be just the two of us in the ring again. That’s all.  _

When Kenoh opened his eyes, Kongoh were still waiting, the sun rising behind them like they were always his new beginning. And he smiled, not even bothering trying to hide it. He joined them and they left all together, and he thought of Hayato one last time. He bowed to the temple gate, and he hoped all their prayers reached him. He hoped Hayato understood Kenoh’s promise. 

He hoped Hayato knew that Kenoh was still there, waiting for him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to manifest a full recovery Hayato. But seriously, I hope he knows there are so many people out there are rooting for him. I hope he knows that his story is an important one to tell, and I hope he gets a chance to tell it. Thank you so much for reading.


End file.
